October 20, 2009

Not Knowing

Something struck me today, thinking about my husband's paperwork.
Even though been it's difficult waiting, I have this peace. A peace that fills my thinking so I won't worry.
At the beginning of this long process, I prayed to be strengthened but through peace. I didn't want to be freaking out all the time about the timing and the fact that my life is pretty much in the air until the papers land. Thankfully my prayers were answered and I have been more in peace these past few weeks than I could have ever hoped for.
What's funny, is that people around me are the complete opposite.
While visiting my hometown, it was something I heard at least once from everyone. The same from everyone too. They went on about the government and their system. About how 'they couldn't believe that it was so difficult for the people who wanted things done legally but so easy for the illegals to live there.' Even though most of it was true, I just wanted to turn around and leave when most people opened their mouths. More complaints were shot out verbally than I alone have had mentally. In my mind it seemed so childish for the others to complain about something so personal to me; I just made me think a lot.
Yes, it is hard not knowing when. There are so many things that can't be planned, so many "unknowns." If any of you know me personally, you would understand how difficult this would have been for me. I prefer everything in my life planned out, with detail and color. I don't like surprises and I usually need to know what's happening next. For now, everything is cloudy and I'm not sure what to do. But I have learned that He does know and that He sees what's coming up next. I've learned that He just wants me to trust Him to make everything alright.
Thankfully God has given me the patience and His amazing peace so that I can go through each day thanking Him. That's all.




  1. Wow girl! That is so awesome! Good for you! God's peace is the only peace that works for me. People can tell me it'll be okay a thousand times but it doesn't help me unless I have God's peace. I will be praying for the paperwork to come through in His time!